I feel compelled to write a blog in case I am stricken with Swine Flu and find myself bed ridden and without the brain power to write. According to the news I will get Swine Flue and I will die. OK. Not really. I just need to avoid any type of public place, stay inside my house in a Purell bath, sport a gas mask, and run screaming away from any one with a cough. My morning dose of Matt Lauer is leaving me with the same shakey uncertainty I feel during a trailer for a horror movie. However, listening to Arnold Schwarzenegger talk about the Swine Flu like it's a murderous villain he must crush with his bare hands is pretty much the most unintentionally hilarious clip I've seen on the news in a while.
I am officially not laid off at Brown. Wa-hoo? I can't even feign enthusiasm in grammatical form. Let me explain...As much as I am thankful and overwhelmingly blessed to have this steady, well paying and dependable job, I can't help but wonder what else is out there for me. At such a young age, I have found a place where I have my own beautiful office, an amazing boss, freedom to manage myself, and amazing co-works. In my performance review the other day, my boss commented that one day I will have to "leave the nest." She's right. I do. This job is wonderful but it's about as challenging as an I-Can-Read book. I know I'm capable of more but why would I risk the comforts of this seemingly perfect job? On my commute home the other day, I began to wish that I found this job when I was older and reaching retirement age. This would be a perfect job to have after slaving for years in corporate America, making a name for yourself and earning lots of money. I'm not sure it's such a great start for a 24 year old who should be pushing herself to achieve greater things. This job makes it a little too easy to rest on your laurels. Sometimes I wonder if being laid off would be the only way I'd leave this job to find the greater opportunities out there for me.
I guess I've been contemplating much about the future. Where I want to go in my career, do I even want to have a huge career or do I want to focus on being a mom one day? I have guilt for leaving my Chihuahua for 8 hours a day. How will I feel dropping my kids off to daycare or leaving them with my parents for 40 hours a week? Maybe Brown is the place to stay. Maybe having a leisure, flexible job is more important than having a lucrative, successful career and a fat bank account. I've been trying to debate what will be more important to me in four years, a career or my potential family? I guess only time will tell. With my 25th birthday looming around the corner, I can't help but wonder how much my life will change in the next 4years. 20 to 24 really only brought with it graduation and job changes. 25-29 may bring with it marriage, children, house buying and priority changes. It's a daunting age to hit because your future is looming ahead of you into paths I couldn't even begin to know how to navigate. Scary stuff. (Way scarier than swine.)
Not to mention, my youth is starting to deteriorate, literally. I woke up about a week and a half ago feeling like my neck was in a vice. Ever since then, I've been going to physical therapy trying to work the kinks out of what seems to be a herniated disk. This morning my doctor tells me I have early stage arthritis from years of running. Who gets arthritis at 24? I am now going to be just like the substitute teacher I had in high school, Miss Hensler. She was 3 feet tall with a hunch back the side of my head. Glenn said he'd still love me, hunch back and all. Maybe by that time, a hunch back will be the new boob job. :)
I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts for the week! Write soon.
<3
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